Detail 'Blue Girl'

That's me today, blue girl. The new year is not starting off as planned. It's all a bit more challenging than expected.

Late into the night on new year's day I had an episode resembling a heart attack. I ended up inside a rescue headed towards the local hospital with a nitro pill under my tongue wondering what in God's name I was doing there. Several doctors and many tests later they discharged me from the hospital saying that it was not a heart attack but it indeed could be angina. I am at high risk for a heart attack or stroke. I have scheduled a stress test. Until then, I feel a bit like I'm hovering over a cliff waiting for someone to push.

I've been trying to keep calm, my blood pressure as normal as possible, and I have been doing absolutely nothing which could constitute strenuous activity. I've been sitting in my studio just looking around at all the stuff. Been thinking about what things will get finished in my life and what will be left behind. We always think we have so much time for all we want to do in life, until we are reminded of how quickly it could end. I am expecting that with modern medicine being so advanced that some crew of doctors will snip and sew their quilt of me and I will have more time to enjoy this life. But I really just don't know for sure. No one can.

I am, as always, very grateful for the life I lead, my family and the wonderful people in my life, the freedoms I enjoy. As long as I am able I will continue to do the things I must do, love, live and sew!

I'll be in touch as I am able.

New Year's Eve. It's traditionally a time to reflect. I am often of the ilk to be reflecting anyway. So here goes.

I started this blog this year because I was feeling like I was in a cocoon. Hoping to extend myself into the world to become a part of it, I set out to get some feedback on what I have been doing since 1996. It's been a positive experience from which I have gained a sense of comfort in my own skin. My followers and colleagues have been so supportive that I honestly feel that I am happy becoming a part of the world wide web.

This blog alone has helped to spurn me on to things I have been avoiding. Finishing 'Nancy's Garden' was a huge success in my ability to deal with the emotional baggage that often comes along with the art process. I'm not so afraid to face the art demons anymore. I have a few left to deal with and they are on my list of things I must get to this year. Fear of failing at experimentation is a whole other demon. I'm taking it on with a piece I started a few years back which entails a large area of discharging the drawing of a wicker bench. I've never tried to discharge such a large area and this one will be about 3' x 4'.

Hmm, I actually sold two pieces this year. Woo hoo! Wasn't really expecting that. Unlike so many of my colleagues who look to art as their primary source of income, art has always been just a means of expression and a form of joy. I cart my weary carcass into work for someone else to abuse so I can take home a regular paycheck and this allows me the freedom to complain about it regularly. This last statement I've not allowed to happen with the happy inner art core of me. The rest of the world can be brutal, but the art core must remain pure. One of my best friends in the art world quit doing what he does best in life because it was such a drag trying to make ends meet. I used to watch him dive full heart and soul into a piece he was creating only to see the piece come to life in his hands. This doesn't happen anymore for him. He sells real estate. He hasn't done any art for years now. To me, this is painfully sad. So I've tried hard not to let the two worlds intersect too much. Not putting demands on the sale of my work has let me keep my love of it. It's a bit of a juggle time-wise and sometimes, as has just happened in the fourth quarter of the year, art has to take a back seat for a while.

It keeps my heart wanting for more, though. Knowing that this has been so fulfilling for me this year, and has expanded the way I feel about my art, has given me what I didn't know I could have at this point. I am looking forward to the new year as one of expansion. I'm excited about new possibilities as I have never been before. And from this I know that some fun and soulful pieces will emerge.

I'd like to thank all of you for reading this blog. Thanks especially to those who have become followers and who regularly stop by and leave comments. Your comments help me to keep a perspective I may not otherwise have.

I am wishing all of you a happy and very fulfilling new year. May you all be productive and full of joy at doing so. From the wings of the angel who sits on my shoulder......may you all be blessed.

Peace, Joy & Happy New Year, Nancy

Christmas

It has been such a busy holiday season this year. I have found myself working at not only one retail store this season but two, in order to help out. I'm used to working retail about 15 to 18 hours a week so my 30 to 40 hour weeks have been a bit tiring. November was the worst but it left me so tired that the month of December flew by in a dream state.

What time I have had at home has been filled with Christmas preparations and family time. As of today, Nick has gone home to Boston, Pete is visiting with his Dad now, Andie is starting the training for a new job and Brad is living in the city and back to his normal work schedule. Christmas 2009 is a memory. The tree is still up with all it's glorious lights and ornaments and I'm still munching cookies and sweets. But in a week it will be all packed away and I'll be on my yearly after-the-holidays diet. I have three more days of work in this quarter, then the first quarter of the new year begins and schedules change. I'll be back to 15 hours a week at work, leaving me long hours sewing.

My poor lonely studio. I keep dreaming of warm summer days past when I was working daily. Next week I should be able to pick up where I left off last summer. There are so many things going on in my head that I'm not sure where I'll start. I just know that I can't wait to start. Next Monday is the beginning of a long, snowy winter at Studio Girasole. I never thought I would ever be happy to see January linger. Hurray for winter!

As I have totally missed wishing you all a wonderful Christmas, let me not forget to wish you all a productive, joyful, happy new year!

Morning's Light

Transformation in the back yard this morning after last night's snow

It's like piped butter cream frosting...

and the whole world has been transformed to angel's wings, lace tatting sparkling like glass prisms. Time stands still for minutes at a time.

Dr Seuss tree

front walkway

magical first snowfall

Wanna Do

It's still pretty busy at work, leaving me only little time to play in the studio. However the time I have had has been very enjoyable. Above is a sample sketch for a large quilt. I was inspired by the colors I used below for my block of the month. It still needs some work on composition and I may do the same sketch in several colorways before I decide.
One of my favorite things to do when I need inspiration and I don't have a lot of time in the studio, is to spend a few moments looking over the colors and patterns from my stash. I feel like a little kid again with a new box of crayons.
Sometimes I just like to pull them out and throw them together to see how they play off each other.

The colors and shapes of the beads sometimes spark and idea, a thought for some new creation.
Ultimately, it is still just about dreaming of January. With only a handful of hours a week to play, I can't get much done. But by the time January does come around, I surely won't have to spend any time thinking of things to do. My list of 'wanna do's keeps growing.

Dreaming of Stitching

We should all be independently wealthy or have 'sugar daddies' so that we can do as we please. My art is relegated to dreaming and small accomplishments this time of year as I have to work for the bread on my table. Selling people stuff in a store just is not rewarding in any other way but to provide a paycheck.

So as not to appear too negative as to consume all my thoughts, I have been at least dreaming of all the projects I can't wait to get my hands on. Above is a piece that I did as a sister to 'Iris Dragon', which is completed. I never got to bead this beauty and I'm starting to plan where and how I will embellish it so that I can get it done.
I have been taking an hour or two on days when I am only working 4-6 hours, to quickly cut and paste ideas in my sketchbook.
Some are exciting, as I can see the possibilities and have just the right fabrics for the idea.
And others are just simply ideas that will probably never make their way into a finished quilt.
I always have things that I start but loose my inner direction on. So I put them away for a rainy day when I feel the inspiration. I love the desert Southwest and this was begun as a quilt connected to my travels there. I am feeling lots of cacti and seeing pieces of adobe walls.
It's a fairly long and narrow piece with a 5 inch border. I got these fabrics from the store I used to work at and when I first saw them I knew I would be using them for something. The center fabric is just bits of a map with routes in black and red. The border has vignettes of traveling icons with small maps that are named for the western states, such as TEXAS, UTAH, & NEW MEXICO.
My own cactus plant has afforded me tons of photos like this one to draw from. And the many pictures of homes and walls in Santa Fe that I took on my last trip there, are calling to me to be drawn. If I can just get some drawings done, perhaps the piecing can be done in bits and pieces before or after work.
And lastly, I did manage to get October's block of the month done. For a person who never does traditional patterns I found this to be a bit of a monster. But it's done and looks nice next to the September block. Still hand stitching 'Chlorophyll' and I should be able to put up a picture soon which shows the progress, which is painfully slow.

For those of you who read this and have situations which allow you endless studio hours, remember how lucky you are this Thanksgiving. Kiss your significant others often, embrace and bless your art donors and joyfully meet your teaching obligations with renewed energy. I will be thankful for my loving, healthy family, my hard working husband, the job which pays for the feast and my studio, filled with promise, which awaits my eager heart.

Happy Thanksgiving to all!