Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Detail 'Blue Girl'

That's me today, blue girl. The new year is not starting off as planned. It's all a bit more challenging than expected.

Late into the night on new year's day I had an episode resembling a heart attack. I ended up inside a rescue headed towards the local hospital with a nitro pill under my tongue wondering what in God's name I was doing there. Several doctors and many tests later they discharged me from the hospital saying that it was not a heart attack but it indeed could be angina. I am at high risk for a heart attack or stroke. I have scheduled a stress test. Until then, I feel a bit like I'm hovering over a cliff waiting for someone to push.

I've been trying to keep calm, my blood pressure as normal as possible, and I have been doing absolutely nothing which could constitute strenuous activity. I've been sitting in my studio just looking around at all the stuff. Been thinking about what things will get finished in my life and what will be left behind. We always think we have so much time for all we want to do in life, until we are reminded of how quickly it could end. I am expecting that with modern medicine being so advanced that some crew of doctors will snip and sew their quilt of me and I will have more time to enjoy this life. But I really just don't know for sure. No one can.

I am, as always, very grateful for the life I lead, my family and the wonderful people in my life, the freedoms I enjoy. As long as I am able I will continue to do the things I must do, love, live and sew!

I'll be in touch as I am able.

6 comments:

  1. my goodness Nancy, how scary for you. I am sending you well wishes and good thoughts.

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  2. Nancy, you take care and let the best of the best make of you their quilt. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

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  3. OH Nancy!, scary yes, but a wonderful opportunity to get back to what really matters!
    Stay positive, laugh often and do what you love! I'll send you happy thoughts and well wishes so keep us posted.

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  4. Sue, Rose & Heather,

    Thank you for your concern and wonderfully supportive thoughts. As of today, I am still a bit in limbo, but after seeing my doc yesterday, she thinks it could actually be something else because the enzymes and EKGs are showing no damage to my heart. The dizziness and pain might actually have come from a badly pinched or malfunctioning nerve. Once my insurance (which I did not have and really cannot afford) kicks in on February 1 I will do the stress test, hopefully as a way to rule out angina. Til then, I am trying to stay calm, stress free, eating low fat everything and taking cholesterol meds for a very high number. I can only thank my Italian grandmother for my passionate love of fattening foods. She died young of heart failure. I guess I should have been more attentive to that fact.

    Again, I thank each of you for your friendship and kind thoughts. It really does help to hear from friends who care.

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  5. This is my first visit. Your work is beautiful and alive with color.

    Blessings, and I wish you good news, and good health.

    Magnolia

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  6. Thank you, Magnolia, I'm curious as to how you found me as I cancelled my twitter, facebook and flickr pages. If you pop back in again, let me know.

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